Running = Courage for me. This past year has been one of the most challenging years in my married life and personally. My reality changed in a matter of minutes after discovering one picture that made me question everything in my life, especially myself. I have always prided myself on being a strong, independent woman who has been through the normal challenges, and then some but this one, hit me in the core. Deep core. After living, in my mind, a fairy tail life - going down the wrong path in my early twenties ( which included prison time), I came back strong and even more determined to succeed in life. I protected my heart. I met my knight in shining armor, married him, blended two families together, raised three children as a Mom and Stepmom, a blossoming career, and had a relationship with my husband that others envied - my reality changed to fantasy. I learned my husband had been having an "online" relationship with a woman for 9 years of our 16 years together and then to add more pain and confusion to the situation, he acquired a second "online" relationship during the past two years when we were entering into our empty nest chapter. All while, I was being convinced that I was the love of his life, he was the happiest man in our marriage, feeling more connected then ever to me and loving our empty nest life. Needless to say, I was side swapped, hit by a train, my world crashed. I felt lost, confused, out of control....wanting to grasp onto something that was real.
Running came into my life at the same time, unexpectedly. I was not nor do I now consider myself a runner. I always disliked running but in June 2013, I saw an add for "Color Me Rad - a 5K, after having to look up how far a 5K was, I thought why not?. It looked like fun! Until June 2013, I have never been able to run one mile -NEVER! So, I ran it, thought I was gonna die during those 3.1 miles but I DID it and ran the entire way! The most rewarding feeling that I have ever had was crossing that finish line even with painful feet and breathing so loud that others can hear me miles away, I did it !!!
Seven months later, December 2013 - I ran my first half marathon, Santa to the Sea! Ran the whole way...2:27 finish time! It was tough, mind over body, one of the most difficult things I ever personally challenged myself with - I felt proud, it was real, I had control, I did it on my own. I had the courage, I believed and achieved! As the same with repairing my marriage and my recovery - I have the courage, I am trying to believe (some days more so then other days) and we will achieve. My knight in shinning armor, was there at the finish line, jumped the railing, picked me up and held me high! He has been at every finish line since.
In April 2014 - I turned 50 years old. My goal - 5 for 50! Run 5 half marathons for 50 years! This has now turned into being 6 Half marathons in one year...I started with Santa to the Sea in December 2013 (my #1) and will run 4 more in 2014 and bring it full circle with #6 in December 2014 at Santa to the Sea !
Running as saved me. It has given me back my self confidence. When I run, it is me - the only time during this challenging year that I can turn off my self doubts, the voices in my mind, betrayal, the hurt and pain. It allows me to be me again, to prove to myself that I can overcome any challenge as long as I dedicated myself and believe!
Thank you Silver Maple for creating not only jewelry for me but for allowing me to wear a physical reminder that I can see, touch and say to myself " Hey girl, you are ok, actual pretty darn amazing and you will get through this, look what you have achieved"
